A few months back my fellow authors and I went to speak in Chico, California. In my portion of the speech, I usually talk about my experience with sexual abuse and how it is such an epidemic in the United States. Over dinner, one of the volunteers shared her story of being molested by her father in her teens. She and her mother took her father to court for molesting her. The father got off lightly with a short stint with an ankle bracelet. My friend did not get a chance at an ankle bracelet and remaining home with her children. She was sent to a federal institution in another state because the local prison was too crowded. She slept on the floor in the prison for the first two weeks. I wondered what would have happened in the prison that was overcrowded. Perhaps she would have had to sleep on the floor…in the bathroom.

I digress. Let me tell you the story from the beginning. Let me see if this doesn’t make you ask a question about our prison system and our judicial system. Maybe it won’t. Maybe you will think I love my friend and she should have gone to jail anyways. Let’s find out.

Years ago, I was a co-founder of a maternity company called “The Power of Two”. We were the first company that created a branded maternity line in conjunction with Adidas. Our banker on this project was a woman (whose identity I will change for the purpose of this article) named Rita Fowler. Articulate and smart, Rita was an incredible ally for me. She was the one who always kept me on the straight and narrow, making sure that I didn’t cross the line and handled myself professionally at all times. She always operated with integrity and was a good friend. Having always taken care of herself, physically and mentally, Rita was a beautiful woman. She was not only beautiful on the outside, but the inside too. She was the first to hand me a check for a charity event, and volunteered frequently. A devout Christian, she also spent time with her fellow churchgoers outside of the pews. Rita was a dedicated mom to her daughters, carving out a career for herself in banking so that she could be home after school was dismissed. I admired her conviction, her integrity and her strength.

With our lives focused on our children, over time we lost touch. You know the drill, between homework and sports activities, there is not much time for anything else. I happened to glance at a local paper and saw her name in an article. It was when I read this article that our lives crossed paths again. According to the paper, Rita was going to prison. I was shocked. I couldn’t put together the Woodside mom that I knew with the news of her going to prison. How could that be? I could not find her current phone number so I e-mailed her. I explained how sorry I was that her life had taken such a turn. I asked her if there was anything that I could do to help. She suggested meeting for coffee or going on a hike. We ended up hiking together at the Stanford Dish, a popular local spot to get exercise. As she stood stretching while she waited, I pulled up in my little car. I was struck by how much she looked the same. As we huffed and hiked, (I huffed mostly) I was also struck by how much I still admired her. She was pretty much the same person that I had known. The big difference was that she was in incredible pain and so ashamed to have caused such anguish to her family.

It was right about this time that my first book had come out, called "This Is Not the Life I Ordered”. Co-authored with three other women, it was a book project that came together after ten years in the making. In the book there are stories from over 40 women on topics such as the loss of a child, widowhood and infidelity. At the end of each chapter is a series of exercises you can do to work your way through the life crises. The book was timely for our walk and for Rita’s life. She was facing leaving her two children and a length of time in a federal prison. Yes, this is certainly not the life she ordered!

The three other co-authors and I had met over time and became friends. Deborah Collins Stephens (the true writer amongst us), Jackie Speier, who at that point in time was a California State Senator, TV Personality Jan Yanehiro and I began meeting at each others houses just to talk. Over coffee, baked goods, and sometimes incredible lunches, we would spill our stories and tears and talk through what was happening in our lives. It made a huge difference for all of us. In the book, we had hoped to create a blue print for other women to copy.

I told Rita about our book as we hiked. She went out and bought a copy at the local bookstore that day. Not only did she like it, but she read portions of the book to her daughters who were struggling her imminent departure to prison. Rita was counting on being put in a prison in California, but weeks before her departure, she was told to report out of state. Now not only was she going to prison, but going far away enough so that it would be very difficult for the kids to visit. As her departure loomed, the book became a “guide” for Rita. In fact, based on one of our chapters on Courage, her and her daughters talked about getting “Courage” tattooed on their bikini line. The tattoo would serve as a way to remind them to stay strong when life got too hard without mom. Rita started handing the book out to other friends who were having a hard time in life as well. See, that’s the thing about Rita that I always loved- No matter what her situation was, she always thought about other people. We began to talk and hike frequently and I was hopeful that she would get a judge that could see the whole picture. That was not to be. Her sentence was 15 months in a federal institution, 830 miles away.

I saw Rita that day she left for prison. I can only speak of my own heartbreak as I saw a mom have to say goodbye to her daughters. My spit dissipated as I watched her youngest daughter cling to her as if she would never see her again. I wanted to scream out with rage, “isn’t there some other answer?!” This woman was no threat to society, she wants to change her life, and her prison term is going to end up costing taxpayers a great amount of money. Remember the beginning of this blog? How this woman I met had prosecuted her father and he got less than 6 months with a bracelet while still working? Where is the logic in this?

There is more to come. Next up, I will tell you Rita’s actions and how they ended up putting her in a Federal Penitentiary.

At the end of the summer, I am planning on going to Zimbabwe to film a documentary about Betty Makoni and the Girl Child Network. Betty is an incredible human being. I came to know Betty in March of 2007 through an introduction by my friend, Paola Gianturco. Last year, Paola and I had gone to a Global Fund for Women event in San Francisco. It was at that luncheon that she had mentioned the plight of young girls in Zimbabwe. She spoke of Africa’s traditional healers who were guiding AIDS infected men in Zimbabwe to rape virgins to cure their disease; this includes their own daughters. I was horrified, but having had tremendous luck in catching every exotic parasite when I traveled internationally, I did not even think of going to Africa.

About a year later, Paola invited me to meet her at the International Women’s Day 2007 event presented by IDEX at the World Affairs Council in San Francisco, featuring Betty Makoni. When I called IDEX for a ticket, Sarah Dotlich, who is the Africa Program Director, answered the phone. Less than a week later and the morning of Betty’s speaking event, I found myself sitting across from Betty Makoni and Sara. Wow. It happened so fast. Betty stood with this big hug smile and lots of black hair, pulled together in a pony tail. I could feel her determination, and she was so genuine in her passion and beliefs. We shared our childhood stories and talked about sharing her story with the world. I gave her my short film on child-sexual abuse, "Flashcards" and she held it to her chest. The act of clutching those materials to her chest was so endearing to me! She actually valued a film and curriculum that helped educated people on abuse, something that has not been my experience in the United States. I suggested I ship the materials to Zimbabwe so that she did not have to carry them with her. She said no. She did not want them out of her hands.

That night, she was introduced at the World Affairs Council event by Walter Turner, who is a professor of History and Ethnic Studies at the College of Marin and Chair of the Department. He is also the President of the Board of Directors for Global Exchange. As these two individuals engaged in conversation and I listened to Betty talk, I started to weep. I don’t know what made me cry, as I am a public speaker and I talk about my own sexual abuse as a child to large audiences often. I even co-authored a book called, “This Is Not The Life I Ordered”, which talks about my abuse. Here I was being reduced to a puddle by her fierce protectiveness of the girls and her absolute conviction. She didn’t get caught up in the feminist bullshit that many of us do in the United States. “Women have a voice” she says as a matter of fact, “and I am going to die using it if I have to”.

Since Betty has gone home, we have been coordinating the details and logistics for the trip and documentary. I have recently asked her to start sharing her daily stories so that I can share them with others. I get notes from her when she has electricity. Last week she wrote me from her computer in the dark. Here is what she wrote:

“Today, I am out to help in the burial of a ten year old girl. She died today of HIV and AIDS as a result of rape. Her body has been lying in the home for 6 hours because due to poverty they could not afford the funds to hire a truck to take the body away. I arrive there at 10 pm and give some help. Tomorrow the uncle buries her and what pain I have to see such innocence lost. I will pay my courtesy call to the girl and try to make her a decent burial and eternal rest. Then this Sunday in Rural Mutasa, we will go to a village where a church leader allegedly raped 7 girls and he is behind bars. Two of them were herding cattle and one girl took her torn clothes with blood stains and this must have traumatized a lot of people-it is so sad.

I will be back on Monday and pass through the Girls Empowerment Village and meet rape survivors you will all meet when you come.

I will email about my experiences and what I would have seen. This is part of what I enjoy doing, being in the remote parts of the country listening to many stories and offering help wherever I can. That way I heal. I just leave my home without anywhere specific to go.”

This is the beginnings of an amazing story that needs to be told. Help us do that.

You can send a donation to the Girl Child Network through my company, Fresh Water Spigot.

Please make your check out to: Girl Child Network c/o Fresh Water Spigot
Mail to:
455 Old La Honda Road
Woodside, CA 94062

More to come…

Life in Zimbabwe is very unstable right now. Recently, a group of non-profits that stay connected were alarmed and concerned for Betty’s safety. It is hard to tell what the situation is really like in Zimbabwe with the type of newscasts that are being broadcast in the US; they are extremely limited and brief. As we were all waiting to hear from Betty, I received this ARTICLE from a friend.

“No wonder we haven’t heard from her”, my friend said. “This is what she is dealing with”. Just when the nail biting got worse, I received another email with the subject line reading this: Re: FIVE HOURS AGO, BETTY MAKONI WON THE SWEDISH PRIZE!

So, here you go…the full press release. You can also check The World’s Children’s Prize for the Rights of the Child, for more information.

Press release:

Children’s heroes awarded 12 million children’s prizes for the rights of the child
Girls’ rights crusader Betty Makoni, Zimbabwe makes a grand slam.
Cynthia Maung, Burma, and Inderjit Khurana, India receive the children’s honorary awards.

Three strong women fighting for a better world for children and for more respect for children’s rights have been given awards by The World’s Children’s Prize for the Rights of the Child (WCPRC), which is supported by 12 million children in 25,000 schools in 85 countries.

5,2 million children all over the world, in a global vote, have selected girls’ rights crusader Betty Makoni from Zimbabwe as the recipient of this year’s Global Friends' Award. Betty Makoni receives the prize because she, after being abused herself as a child, empowers girls to demand their rights. She supports those who are exposed to abuse and protects others from assault, forced marriage, trafficking and sexual abuse.

The world's largest (in terms of how many children participate in selecting the prize laureates) and most prestigious prize for outstanding contributions to the rights of the child - The World's Children's Prize for the Rights of the Child (WCPRC) - also has another main award, the World's Children's Prize. The recipient of this award is selected by a jury of children from 15 countries, some of whom have been child soldiers, slaves on farms or in brothels, refugees or lived on the streets. Through their own life experience, they are experts in the rights of the child. The jury children, who didn’t know the result of the global vote when they made their decision, also decided to give their award to Betty Makoni.

The World’s Children’s Honorary Awards goes to Cynthia Maung, Burma and Inderjit Khurana, Indien. Cynthia Muong receives her prize because she has fought for the health and education of hundreds of thousands of refugee children for 20 years, both under the military dictatorship in Burma and in refugee camps in Thailand. Inderjit Khurana receives her prize because she has run over a hundred schools and two phone help lines for 21 years, helping the poorest, most vulnerable children who live and work on station platforms.

WORLD’S LARGEST EDUCATIONAL INITIATIVE ON DEMOCRACY AND CHILDREN’S RIGHTS

The WCPRC empowers children and young people all over the world so that they can make their voices heard and demand respect for their rights in accordance with the UN Child Convention. The WCPRC has quickly grown into the world's largest annual educational initiative for children on rights, democracy and global citizenship. As part of this process, the children award the world’s most respected prizes for outstanding contributions to the rights of the child.

12 million students at 25,000 schools in 85 countries participate in the WCPRC, and that number is growing constantly. 5.2 millions of those children participated in the Global Vote to determine who should receive the Global Friends’ Award 2007. An international child jury – consisting of children who are experts on the rights of the child through their own experiences as soldiers, refugees, street children or slaves in brothels or on farms – choose the recipient of the other major award, the World’s Children’s Prize.

Over 350 organizations all over the world support the WCPRC, which also collaborates with many Departments of Education and youth media projects worldwide (among them Times of India’s Newspaper in Education and Grupo Positivo’s web sites in Brazil). The prize magazine, like the website, www.childrensworld.org, is available in nine languages and is read by over 7 million young people.

MANDELA IS A PATRON

The patrons of the WCPRC include Queen Silvia of Sweden, Nelson Mandela, President Xanana Gusmão of East Timor, former Executive Director of Unicef Carol Bellamy, former UN Under-Secretary-General Olara Otunnu, and Nobel Prize Winner in Economics Joseph Stiglitz.

The prize money, SEK 1 million (USD 140,000), is to be used in the recipients’ work for the rights of the child and will help some of the world's most vulnerable children. It is supported by AstraZeneca, Banco Fonder and pi.se. The WCPRC was founded by the Swedish organization Children’s World, and is a Swedish National Millennium Project.

This year’s prize ceremony will be held on Monday 16 April (2.00 pm to 3.45 pm) at Gripsholm Castle in Mariefred, where HM Queen Silvia will help the children to give out the prizes. All three final candidates will be honoured.

FOCUS ON REFUGEE CHILDREN, CHILD WORKERS AND ABUSED CHILDREN

BETTY MAKONI, Zimbabwe, is awarded for her long struggle to empower girls in Zimbabwe, to free them from abuse and let them have the same opportunities in life as boys. Through the Girl Child Network Betty has built three safe empowerment villages for very vulnerable girls and started 500 girls' clubs with 30,000 members, mostly in rural areas and in poor townships. Betty saves girls from child labour, forced marriage, abuse, trafficking and sexual assault. She gives girls food, clothes, medical care, a home, the chance to go to school and safety. Above all, she gives girls courage and strength to demand respect for their rights. Betty and Girl Child Network speak out on behalf of girls in Zimbabwe, by constantly encouraging the government and different organisations to take care of the country's girls. Betty is often threatened because of her work.

CYNTHIA MAUNG, Burma is awarded for her near 20-year struggle on behalf of hundreds of thousands of children who live as refugees inside and outside Burma. 200,000 refugees, most of them children, receive free health care at Dr Cynthia’s Mae Tao Clinic, which also trains medics who return to their villages in Burma or to refugee camps in Thailand to work. The clinic sends hundreds of “backpack medics” to Burma. They carry medicine, train children in health and hygiene and treat 150,000 internally displaced people, many of them children. Cynthia’s clinic gives birth certificates to the many children who lack these, runs two schools and school hostels, and regularly visits 50 other refugee schools to give the children vitamins and vaccinations and gives food to malnourished children.

INDERJIT KHURANA, India, is awarded for her long struggle for the poorest and most vulnerable children’s right to education. She opened her first railway platform school 21 years ago. Today her organisation, Ruchika, runs 12 platform schools, 6 nurseries, 75 slum schools, 20 nursery schools, preventative HIV and AIDS projects, 2 “schools on wheels”, vocational training and clean water and sanitation projects in the slums. They also offer healthcare and run an ambulance service for emergencies. Ruchika has two help lines for children and women and gives school grants to gifted poor children. Inderjit believes that if the child cannot come to the school, the school has to come to the child. She and Ruchika seek to give a basic education, building up children’s self-esteem and opening the door for them to have a life free from poverty, child labour and violence.

For more information on the WCPRC and the prize candidates see:
PRESS at www.childrensworld.org, where you can also find high-res pics; Video material on request. Contact: Magnus Bergmar, +46(0)159-129 00, +46(0)70-515 58 39; magnus.bergmar@childrensworld.org